Charles Jaco has written opinion and commentary pieces for dozens of magazines and newspapers. Each week, read and comment on a fresh on-line version. The discussion page enables you to share your view points world wide. If you would like to make a comment go to the " Join the discussion" link below. If you would like to view past editorials visit the Editorial Archive. Editorial 11/10/00 WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION, COMRADE! Oh, Wait. This is America, Isn't It? The last time I covered an election where the man who got the most votes lost, I ended up face down in mud and sewage as a Montero full of masked gunmen tried to determine if my body armor was bullet proof or merely bullet resistant. It was Panama, 1989, and Gen. Manuel Noriega emptied the jails, making sure that every loser and psycho in Panama had a gun or a machete. Guillermo Endara got more votes than Noriega's candidate, but the General, a sort of one-man Electoral College, decided otherwise. Of course, all that ended when the United States executed the world's most expensive search warrant and invaded Panama two months later. And in most of the world's countries, that's more or less how an election like this would have ended up. From Saudi Arabia to South Africa, friends, sources, and acquaintances are shaking their heads. The one constant in all of their conversations with me has been amazement, and admiration. Amazement that someone who got less votes that his opponent may end up being President, and admiration that the United States is so stable that the only violence has been from people throwing things at their televisions. The Cubans tell me this is what you might expect from a country where two ruling-class preppies are fighting over the drapes in the Oval Office. The South Africans are stunned that the one-man-one-vote principle they fought so hard for doesn't seem to be the last word in America. The Saudis say this is what happens when you let people vote at all. The Argentines chuckle that a country that tried to drive a President from office for getting oral sex and then lying about it seems to be having some trouble deciding what it wants. But all of them, like us or hate us, say they admire the rule of law and democratic principles that allow things to keep running normally while we sort things out. One Israeli summed it up best--"Your republic is functioning just the way it should. And now you have a government just like ours." What they call a coalition government we call gridlock. We're set to elect a President based on a few hundred votes in Florida. We may elect a man who came in second in the popular vote. We've elected a Congress that's split like Anthony Perkins' personality in Psycho. In most countries this evenly divided, a minor entity-- say,The Left-Handed Black Lesbians for Jesus Party-- would hold just enough seats in Parliament to decide everything. Congratulations, America. You've elected a coalition government. The President will have a we-disliked-you-less-than-the-other-guy mandate, thinner than Calista Flockhart. With either a dead tie or a one-vote margin in the Senate, the Upper Chamber will swing on the votes of liberal Northeastern Republicans and conservative Western and Southern Democrats. With a handful of votes for a majority, the Speaker of the House will spend his time trying to round up a herd of cats. And it's precisely what we wanted. Bush and Gore were sort of like the person you dated when you couldn't get a date with the person you really wanted to date. No one was really too enthusiastic about either of them. We elected a dead man and the First Lady to the Senate. We shaved back Congressional majorities. We kept most of the incumbents. It's a pretty straightforward message: don't change much of anything; work together; stop throwing bombs at each other and play nice. Anyone in the White House, Hourse, or Senate who wants to get anything done is going to have to reach out to members of the Other Party. Which is pretty much how average Americans expect grown-ups to behave. The election was one big memo to Bob Barr, Maxine Waters, Dick Armey and Barney Frank: sit down and shut up and let the temperate adults run things for a change. Join the discussion

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